The mirror and the Mind

Well, I just saw a very poorly crafted movie, the Happening. What made me do this?, I guess firstly because since it being a M Night shyamalan movie, I expected something after the credible SIXTH SENSE. Well at first I thought I should forgo the immature direction and storyline, but the movie never woke up where it started. Well at the end of it, for someone who does not watch a lot of movies, this one was a really throw backer.
And lately I have been trying to push my limits and achieve what I havent so far. My ultimate aim would too ultimate for me to explain. But a small analogy has been surviving within myself, Is it completely strange for someone to do the unexpeted. Like in a sense my GRE scores were a great relief for me at the first instance, but later on I figured out that given the time and casual modes given, this was nothing special.
Well its not being complacent, its being a little  unbalanced in the inside. Some might say that I'm capable of delivering only so much and so( keeping the hardwork I put in to learn the words), it seems pretty ordinary on the outside.
Now some of my friends( I feel) have probably understood this feeling in a very awkward fashion and have realized that they only way to motivate yourself and move forward in small steps, is to stay with the contemporary way of doing things. Many feel that leaving an year aside is not going to really help their cause, and rather than risking it, its better to just taking the scrupulous path.
Well I have given myself one more opportunity. I have decided the best way to change the 20 year old engine in me is to change the whole engine itself. I dont mean to change the whole of it, maybe increase the efficiency by making slight modifications.
One recent discovery I have made is, the tiredness in mind after sitting for 1 hour and working on a subject. Well lets put it in a simple way, its been like this for the past 6  years. Its always been 1 hour. Things have changed but at a pretty slow pace.
But....by slowly training the mind and by being patient to a finite degree things can be achieved.
Whats causing you frustration is not outside you, but right inside you.
Jai hind.
Will come back with more fruitful ideas and outcomes.